The Little Mermaid


When things that are underwater breathe, they create bubbles. These bubbles are filled with the air that’s being released and they slowly make their way up to the surface where they pop. This is true for any air that is released underwater. What if you can recreate this action in a fun way in the bedroom?

This activity is more for fun than it is for pleasure. This is one you might want to do if things have started to become stale in the bedroom and you’re looking for something new to liven things up. Thankfully, it’s cheap too!

All you need is one of those bottles of bubbles that kids use when they play outside. Just empty one of those either in your partner’s vagina or butthole, and then let the fun begin. If you want to do if for free, weddings are a great place to gather your supplies.

A lot of people now have their guests blow bubbles instead of throwing rice at the bride and groom when they emerge from the service. I think it’s fucking stupid, but it works to your advantage here. Steal as many of those little tubes that you can get your hands on. I’d say, depending on the size, it would take about 20 to 30 of those little bottles to get the job done. At worse, collect them from the other wedding guests. If anybody asks why you’re taking them all, just say: “I’m going to stick them all in my friend’s pussy.” That will normally curtail any more questions from arising.

Now the bubbles aren’t just going to start blowing themselves, so there’s a bit of work still involved. Hopefully there are a lot of air pockets in the vag, because this activity is completely dependent on queefs. That’s why many people decide to skip the vagina and go straight to the asshole.

When you have the bubble solution in your ass, it’s a very strange sensation. It kind if feels like somebody dumped motor oil in your ass, if you’re familiar with that feeling. It’s kind of squishy and slick, almost like you’re having a bad case of diarrhea.

You need a fair amount of gas for the show to work. I decided to go get a burrito the size of my arm before I gave this one a test and the results were splendid. For the most part. When you’re letting them rip, it’s like the greatest fireworks show ever. You got a mountain of bubbles billowing out of your ass and stray bubbles floating around everywere in your room. My friend Steve said that I was like a walking rave.

But that’s when disaster struck. If you’re not familiar with a “Shitty Shitty Bang Bang,” let me fill you in. That’s when you shit yourself while in the middle of a massive fart attack. I didn’t expect to run into this problem at the time, and the scene was complete sadness.

It started with a stray brown bubble taking flight every few moments. Then all the bubbles started to turn brown. As they floated to the ceiling, walls, and floor, they would pop in the most god awful fashion, leaving a ring of chocolate everywhere. Then the unthinkable happened.

My ass was full with about a half liter of what was essentially a very runny lubricant. Now when you have giant burrito shits mixed with a butthole full of lube, nothing good can happen. Greased lightning may be the best way to describe what was happening. No, there is a more visual description.

Take a one of those high powered pump action water guns. Fill it with a gallon of chocolate syrup. Now pump it up and spray. Make sure you let it spray until you’re about out of syrup so that you get that sputtery spray action at the end. That’s pretty much what was going on in my asshole.

At least this was all going on in Steve’s bedroom and not mine. I just packed up my shit and got the fuck out of there. I still had a bit of a leak coming from my ass, but I figured dealing with an anal leak is a hell of a lot easier than dealing with Steve’s mom once she saw what the hell just happened.

To this day, Steve says that he was totally convinced that he was witnessing the Rapture that day. He insists that he saw a vision of Jesus in my stream of shit and he knew then that he was going to Hell.

The moral of the story is to be careful with The Little Mermaid. On one hand, it’s a pretty fun thing to do and is cool to watch if you videotape it. But if you’re going to fill your asshole with the bubbles, make sure you haven’t done anything lately that can cause the end of all things.

On a side note, bubbles of poo would be a pretty cool move for somebody to have in an RPG. I want to be able to say that I have a level 26 Mage that’s proficient with the Nochnor Poo Blast. There is NO defense for that move.